Perfektion

Yeah. I konw. We have to be perfect. We need to be lovely. Everyone shall love us. Instagram. Facebook. Blog. Work. Sports. And not to forget about school. Why are we doing this? Why can´t we just accept that nobody´s perfect. We are humans.
Last year I just knew I was doin´right. Okey that´s a lie. But I didn´t have anything to loose. I knew I can do what I want to do and not what I have to do. I had a lot of cozy time, too. But this year... I even don´t know anymore that it´s Christmas in less than two weeks.
Oh, it´s my birthday next week? Im getting 18? Oh yeah right! Too sad that I don´t have time for this. Well, I don´t have time to celebrate with anybody because my head is just full with things I have to think about. Sad.
Work. Everything has to be perfect. The coffee has to come from the right side. Oh yes I know! I should make the customer to buy as much as possible. Oh yes I know! I have to be there everytime. I need to be in good mood anytime. Oh yes I know!
But what I´m thinking right now: All this things I named, are they worth as much as a real smile. I´m tired of this fake smiling everytime. Yes! At work I´m happy. I´m happy when I can make people smile. I smile. For real. But I can´t smile if I don´t make people happy. There is no reason to smile to me.
In school. Where´s the humanity? Yes, I know I did something wrong. I was not perfect. I did something my teacher didn´t like. Am I a bad person now? Or should I ask for a second chance? You can be perfect in like 7 classes. But the other 2 are not perfect. I know. But why is everyone still talking about those 2?
Sports. We have to win. Of course. I now! But why don´t we just play to be happy? Not to win?

Sometimes we need to think about this. To recognize that we can´t be perfect, as much as we try, we´ll never be.

one world.

ONE WORLD.
We are just one world. That´s the one and only thing we have to know. Nobody is better than another.
A lot of things to do. A lot of people to help. A lot of hours to work. But never forget:
A lot of places to be. A lot of possibilities to go. And a lot of things to experience.
We are all the same. We have different hair colours. Different skin colours. Different values. Different traditions. Different languages. But never forget:
There´s nothing we can#t learn. There´s nothing we can´t understand if we just want to. There´s nothing we can´t adapt to.
We just need to be human. Just need to be ourselves. And then there´s nothing that can stop us. Just smile to the day.
Smile to the people. People you love. People you hate. People you are jealous to. People you just don´t want to talk about. Smile to them. It´s so much easier than being mad. You´ll be so much happier. And never forget:
If somebody´s bad to you you just have to do it better.
We are one planet. A lot of landscapes. A lot of countries. A lot of languages. A lot of humans. And so many places. Just never forget:
There´s no place you can´t go to if you just want to. There´s nothing you can´t reach if you just fight for it hard enough.
And all of this just because we are ONE WORLD.

Einige Gedanken von einem Abend in einem einsamen Haus an der Ostsee....etwas ungeordnet aber genau das was mir so durch den Kopf ging.

this one song..

At the moment i just love this song. It´s nothing typical for after an exchange but it has a great message. The song remembers me to just all the lovely moments I could have in just one year. And now I´m here sitting in a mess of photographes..

too much.

Sometimes it is too much. Too much people expect from me. Then i break down. Today was one of that days. Just normal. But everyone expects someting from me. This press. It was too much. I just have to keep it down. Just let it be and just lay one day in bed. Cause tomorrow will be better.

And sometimes..

And sometimes it´s just good to know that you have done it. That you have been there, got to know all this wonderful people. Learned to love another country. Learned to live in another part of the world. But even how much it hurts, you know that you have to go on. It will never stop.

Simple Plan - Summer Paradise

I´m still wondering how this song can be lik emy thoughts about coming back home.

Just me. Coming home.

The world was going on. Everything was going on. Everything moved on. It looks strange to me. Coming home is a strange feeling. You don´t really know what you want. You´re going to work. Going to school. Meeting friends. Going to party. Just like before. But it is strange. It looks like everything has changed. But one day, you see that it is just you. You have changed. Things, I wanted so much before. I don´t want them anymore. The first days were motivated. So much things I wanted to do. But now I´m just tired. Really tired. Did that much the last weeks. Worked too much. Wanted too much. I don´t have anything from this now. Am just tired. Not ready for anything. 

Nodody understands. I knew this. But now you can´t tell anyone. You don´t feel like you have to be here anymore. Start counting days until you are finished with school. Star counting hours until you are finished on work. You just don´t like the same anymore. Want to go. Just go. Go to some place, nobody understands you, but you feel safer than "home".